I might become a professional fish walker.

My jam today

Well, it's been an interesting week. I found a soaking wet bird in the field and it was hopping all around, but couldn't fly. I took it home and wrapped it up in a towel to help it dry off. I had to finish getting ready for an appointment, so I decided to try out "bird wearing" so I could get my makeup done while the bird relaxed~it worked! After I got my face and hair done, I took the little bird outside and it flew out of my hands to the trees. It was such a nice bird, too--it never tried to peck me--I think we had a spiritual connection ;) lol. Stuff like this makes me happy. I'm such a Earth-loving, bird-hugging person. I'm glad I got the chance to do this for such a sweetheart. I used to do stuff like this a lot when I was a child/teenager, because my grandma (Nanny) had bird nests all over her yard and the babies would fall out and need a little help~and there I was, right on time lol :)

Today, there was a humongous turtle crossing through a busy parking lot in the rain. People came out to help it along and make sure it didn't get hurt. I wish I would have seen it, because I was in the same parking lot shortly before photo was shared. He was there, I was there, but we missed each other. I'm glad he's ok.

I'm looking for more side work to do since it's hard to make it on just my day job. While I was looking at job listings, I found this gem! "Family needs someone to walk 4 fish and 1 dog." ha! How interesting would that walk be?! Tiffany, professional fish walker. I take tanks on tours.

What have you been up to lately?


xoxo

Leave it up to a Brother to Make you Feel Better

The past few weeks have been really intense. For a few days I felt like a sad zombie and all I did was float through the hours and wait for things to improve. Then, I invited someone over to hang out and everything started feeling better. I have a ton of friends, but no one can make me laugh like my little brothers can! My brother can find the funniest stuff online, somehow, and we stay up late just talking and laughing at youtube videos on xbox live. I'm gonna share some of them with you, in case you need a little pick-me-up, too :)

Think you know a lot about octopuses? I bet you could learn a few more things... lol. (contains adult language). Don't shake his hand; just don't.

If I could dance like this, I wouldn't have to count calories. This has to be one heck of a workout. I don't have the coordination to ever know how to do this; I have the balance of an egg. It's like his feet aren't even part of his body!

Life wouldn't be complete without a few memes, would it? Here's some of the funniest cat memes ever!

I'm so thankful for my brothers; they have a way of making me laugh every time we see each other. If it wasn't for my brother B, I would be so far behind on worldly happenings; he knows all of the latest political news and explains it to me in a way that's informative and memorable. My brother M teaches me all about how things work; he actually learned how to drive a manual engine (straight drive) car from YouTube videos! No joke!

Who makes you feel better when you're having a hard day?

Day 1. My First Juice Cleanse.

{journal entry}

Man, I woke up feeling tree-climbing hungry this morning. I'd, seriously, go to any limit to get food to put in my mouth today. Fortunately, it's the first day of my New Year, New Look promise that I made to myself last year and the year before and... the other day. Let's get things started, homefry.

First, let me tell you about myself on a grub-grabbing level, ok. I love food. I mean, I really love good food like to the moon and back. I have a dinosaur appetite to prove it. Need a little story to help you buy what I'm selling here?  No problem.

Ok, say you and I were walking in the forest together and an angry beaver appeared out of nowhere and built a graham cracker house around us with no way out of this gift torture. Before you could even come up with some super-amazing plan, I would've already eaten a door and three windows into this graham cottage and we'd be free again. In fact, before you could Instagram a photo of this crazy day, I'd be licking the last of the roof from my fingers... sorry, but I saved us, remember? Let's be friends :)

Just because I have a huge appetite, doesn't mean I eat like that all the time~ there's a time and a place ;)

Breakfast Time

Well, it's breakfast time MOTHERRRRRnature~ I gotta get my day started. Being the lady that I am, I drank the first juice, then I looked left, then I looked right--no one was around--so I drank half of the second juice. Yeah, I'm a 24-ouncer, no shame. A girl's gotta "eat". These juices are delicious. Juice 2 (green juice) tastes almost exactly like Juice 1 (green juice), except it has ginger. That's the real reason I drank two one and a half juices at the same time--just to see if they tasted different.

I'll tell you  more about my next juice in a few hours. Stay tuned. It's Lemonade with Cayenne in it!! I'm so FrUitING excited!

Midday Check-in-- What I've Learned From Juicing Day 1

You're anxious and motivated on Day 1. Its like you just walk around going, "is it time for juice, yet? is it? is itttt?" {incoming philosophical, deep-thinking moment} and then you have this epiphany where you realize that you're like a baby wanting a bottle. Then you think about how no one cares that a baby drinks milk all day long, but yet, they worry about what will happen if an adult drinks their meals all day long... then you realize that you should be even more like a baby and spend some time enjoying the world around you, the dogs, the cat and maybe even let yourself laugh hysterically at the simple things (like the way the dog goes crazy when you run away with his toy and then he thinks you threw it when you didn't--funny 101). Before long, you're happy, eating healthy and getting in more physical activity. Why? Because you're still someone's baby, so act like one~ enjoy life :)

The Wrap up of Day 1

The Hardest Part  Well, I did it; I made it through Day 1 without eating even a crumb of food. Honestly, I've gone without eating before, but I've never drank juice instead of eating. The hardest part was when I had to serve my homemade chicken strips (one organic, gluten free breaded and cooked with olive oil; the other was lemon-pepper chicken that was grilled on the indoor grill). I love my own cooking, because I can control what's going on and I like knowing that my food is prepared by a clean person with clean hands, so there ya go. I didn't eat it, but I wanted to... it smelled so good. Everyone loves "kiddie" food, right?

How did I feel?

It's Ok... to love Johnny Cash, Microwaved Food and Burritos.

Why I'm Ok

It's ok... that I haven't been cooking much lately, because I can't stand the thought of turning on the fire-breathing dragon {my stove}. Thankfully, I'm a toaster oven maestro and a microwave master :) I have this potholder hanging over my microwave {#igotitatRoss}

It's ok... to put all of the salsas on your burrito bowl {Qdoba's} because the salsas are FREE! Oh, and they're healthy, too, so that's a double-dare for ya~ c'mon, do it!

source

It's ok... to use diplomacy. Especially, when you're doing the right thing.

source

Its ok... that my little one made me think the car was breaking down (spark plugs? running out of gas?)... but really, he was just rocking out to Johnny Cash in the back seat :) lol. 

He loves music. He asked for the "bump bump" cd and that's his Jam~ I'll end this post with a song from Noah xoxo

Johnny Cash~ Teenage Queen

This is the "bump bump, bump bump" song that Noah likes so much :) <3

What are you ok with this month, week, today?

That's my little "Its Ok" post for August! I'm linking up with my good friend Kera over at Nugget on a Budget. This is open to anyone that wants to play along, so link up and let's play!

Love,

My Dog Uses Monistat

So, I decided to have my dog, Ollie, neutered at the vet's office, because... well, why not? It prevents problems (he's no baby's daddy) and it keeps him safe from a few health problems (win/win).

Well, I told him that it's no big deal, because lots of dogs are doing it and nothing would change in his life. When I took him in there, a lady commented on how beautiful he was and wanted to know where I got him from {remember, he's a ShihPooHuaHua~limited edition}. Everyone thought he was SO sweet and SO cute... until I came to pick him up after the dun-dun-dun... operation.

The front desk woman said, "We're gonna need you to go get Ollie out of the crate, because everyone's scared of him." {lol. Really? My sweet Ollie?} When I got back to his crate, he was wild-eyed and backed in the corner. Apparently, he figured out what had happened and it wasn't cool with him. Poor guy. I scooped my emasculated baby up and took him home.

Back Home

He's been enjoying life and having a grand time~ same ol' G.

Everything was fine until....

This Dog Didn't Have STDs. FTSF Linky.

{showing up late, but still playing along}

I did something really stupid once, I... took my friend to the vet when I was 19-20 (something like that, doesn't matter). Wait, no, I took my friend and her dog to the vet. She got this shiny new puppy and wanted to have it checked out and inspected for problems or whatever and since I was the only one of us with a license (and car), I happily lead the way to the puppy doctor.

Well, you must know this: the vet guy is the hotness. He was like newly out of school, single, and a doctor. I was single, in school and a floor covering salesgirl--we're on the same level, right? You must also know that I'm in college {not getting much sleep} and they're making us watch videos and read pamphlets on informative crap. You'll see what I mean... they drilled it in my head.

After giving this puppy the weigh-in and check-in, it ended up on the table for inspection. I've never been there for a dog's first visit before, so I was totally interested in what was going on, here. The vet lifted the dog's tail (eww) and proceeded to violate it's exit ramp and I was like, "eww. what are you doing, exactly?" and the vet said,

"I'm checking for herpes." 

Lyrically Confusing? So, I was thinking...

So, ya know that song "Low/Apple Bottom Jeans?" 

I started liking this song when I saw Zookeeper 

(the part where the gorilla punches the van! ahhhaha!) 

Well, it's also just an upbeat, unemotional song 
that's good for working out. (so is *Like a G6*)

But, I'm always thinking about the lyrics, 
because one part doesn't really make sense. 

My Dog Chelsea is a ShihPooHuaHua

Meet my dawg, Chelsea. 

• She's 5 years old and she loves to sit outside--even when its cold.
• She's a mixture of a Shih Tzu, a Chihuhua, and a Poodle. Fancy~Fancy. lol.
• She really enjoys beef jerky and spying on people, dogs and cats.
• You can often find her on the top of the couch or peeking out a window.
• Her nickname is "naturally beautiful," because she's the only girl dog, here, that doesn't go to the groomer ;)
• She can jump straight in the air and land far away--like a superdog! She, once, jumped from one arm rest of the couch to the other--straight in the air, sideways--and didn't bump into any of the three people on the couch. This dog is amazing! 

Here's a story about Chelsea

Chelsea always sees and hears ev-er-y-thing. 

It was no surprise, to me, that she was all over this situation... 

when that cat's face disappeared, 

she was, like, right there. 

Evil cat. That's freaking creepy, right? Seven days... jk. 

More like... nine lives... nine, scary, scary lives. It would be cool if it morphed into a little pony or a turtle! It just kept being a cat, though.

Funny: Always Carry Documentation With You.

Mitch Hedberg & the Donut Receipt

"We don't need to bring ink & paper into this" 

Mitch Hedberg

There's so many more funny ones, but they're more colorful than this one ;) 

Hope you enjoyed this!

Do you use a daily planner?

I've always loved daily planners--they're so useful, come in a variety of colors

 and styles and they really keep your life together. 

All of this is considering that you use it and don't lose it... like I do. 

It was so much easier to keep up with a planner when I carried a backpack; 

maybe, I should start carrying a backpack? Nah, I have a really cool shoulder 

bag, purse, pocketbook thing...

 Ok, this is my new plan for getting organized.

 How the forgetful get organized

Find my undated daily planner and don't lose it, again. In my defense, I lose it from trying to be responsible with it. I carry it everywhere I go, so I can write down everything that happens/needs planning. Then, I put it... somewhere... and forget that I like to use it. At least it's undated, so when I do find it, I can still use it. #brightside

Another idea...

Get a To-Do list tattoo on my forearm and fill it in daily. 

I'd fill out my tattoo to-do list on this guy, daily... 

I'd never forget anything if I had a ♥Slash♥ planner. Never.

I need Slash with a to-do list tattoo!

Dedicated to a crush of mine

Buy a new calendar!!! 

what!? I knowww! 

I always get one as a gift, somehow--Christmas, insurance company etc--but,

 this year, I didn't... and I didn't buy one, either. 

Dollar Tree, hi ho he he, I'm coming to spend a buck $ or three :)

Shred ittt... I have enough paper stored in here to make a shade tree with. Thank you Black & Decker for childproof shredders; my little one will get his own pile of papers to run through the shredder with me. I will teach him what I have not, yet, mastered--it's the way of the grasshopper... 

The Art of Organization...

Fridays Letters. September 7, 2012.

Dear sore throat: You're fired. In fact, you  never worked here, so don't come back or else.

Dear Internet: You move slower than a sleepy sloth on pain killers, so you might wanna cut that out. The slower you move, the less we both see. Don't you want to see the inter-world? Don't you love surfing the virtual waves of the web with me? Please get some rest tonight while the computer is sleeping. You deserve it. I want you back at full-speed tomorrow or you'll be fired like that other guy up there... yeah, right! You know better, don't you! c'mon, baby, please hurry up, you know I love you xo.

Friday's Letters: August 10, 2012

My Friday Letters will be delivered on Saturday, 

much like my own personal mail...

Dear Grass,

Please stop growing so fast. I'm so scared that there's a snake hiding in you, even though I've only seen one, one time. As much time as we've spent together, you should know that I'm totally scared of snakes and will not come out to see you until winter, while you are asleep. This phobia will probably pass in the cold months, but until then, we will see each other through the window. 
Stay Short,
xx

Dear School Bus,

I know you're greasing up your gas-guzzling, monstrously huge metal parts, so that you can make that twice-a-day, "is that a jet? no, it's a helicopter... nooo, it's the school bus!" trip down our road, so... I've written my own version of that old song for you. ahem.

The wheels on the bus go round and round
loud as *heck
down my road

The wheels on the bus wake my dog
make her bark

that has got to gooo :/




Please get with the times and install SEAT BELTS and get rid of that carburetor!!! Fuel injection? Hybrid? Feeling so fly like a V6? ...spark plug blasting, loud sounding, environmental hazard... rawr rawr.

Time to work on that,
xx

Dear Saturday,

Thank you for getting here and letting me have a great day. This week was pretty good, but I really love when you get here and I can relax knowing that "business hours" are so yesterday. It's great to be free of adult errands and get in a minute or two with my friend NetFlix. Even better, yet, was getting to spend the day with my family. We had a great time at PetSmart and even though that creepy-as-*heck lady followed us around telling us what flavor of dog food that she *personally* liked to eat, we still had fun, there. It's good to know that I'm not as weird as I think I am, sometimes. I'm just a tired mommy and I don't eat dog food, so I am still in the shallow end of the Crazy Pool :) Winning! I'm very thankful, also, that the restaurant gave us extra sauces and didn't freak out like we asked for the code to the money safe. Restaurants are really weird about sharing the free packets of ketchup, these days. Saturday, you're so fun; I wish we could hang out every day :)

Keep being awesome,

=)

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! Thanks for stopping by :)

Not Your Average Baby Blog: Friday's Letters

I love this post so much, I just had to share it :) I feel like she wrote it with/for me lol. Shark week!!! yeah!!! Babies & Books, yes ma'am! Great post :)

Read it here:

Not Your Average Baby Blog: Friday's Letters: Dear Carter, Thanks for waving at everyone at Target. It’s fun to make friends, isn’t it? Everyone likes to tell you how cute you are ...